Dangers of an Idle Mind

My car has a little Green digital clock. My wife’s car has also got a little green digital clock. Both the clocks in both our cars are simple four digit displays and both of our clocks in both of our cars have an additional little green dot to indicate whether is am or pm. So what? I hear you ask. Well it occurred to me some time ago that while I did spend a lot of my years, prior to this year, whooping it up, partying and carrying on etc., I don't think I ever looked at a clock that showed four O'clock and thought to myself "Wait! Is it four in the morning or four in the afternoon?” More to the point, anyone so confused as to not know whether it is eight O'clock in the evening or eight O'clock in the morning probably shouldn't be driving a car. <Enter stunningly witty and clever tagline here> Bazza

We have dog years (about 7 human years), we have cat years (about 5.5 human years) and now we have Connecticut years (5 Connecticut years equals 100 human years) I’ll explain. About a month after we arrived in Connecticut a huge storm, referred to as a Nor’easter , swept through. With it came 12 hours of incredibly heavy rain. The intensity of the rain was equivalent to the short sharp tropical downbursts that happen in Florida but whereas they typically last an hour this lasted half a day and was pretty cold too. The local rivers all flooded and there was a great concern over the high tide, which coincided with the storms height as well. When all was over many, many properties were damaged or flooded and lakes existed where previously there had just been meadows. Luckily we escaped without any bad things happening to our house and we were greatly relieved, when walking around the housing complex we live in, to notice no significant ill effects for anyone (even Speedy and Sparky surv...

We have subscribed to the Shelton Gazette, It recently reached a milestone; its first story using just words. The 'What’s On' section is interesting – it is a white sheet of paper with ‘NOTHING’ written on it. We do enjoy the readers letters though; this week it was “D for Dog” Finally we also enjoy the Gazette's weekly Crossword. Last week was a great one; it was "damn!" In a lot of English villages at some point in the summer there is a weekend where every proud gardener in the village throws open their garden gates for all to admire their tireless horticultural prowess. In Shelton we have the same thing, one Saturday afternoon a year any rusting car enthusiast can tour hundreds of gardens looking at the tireless GMCs and Pontiacs. <Enter stunningly witty and clever tagline here> Bazza

As I pushed open the solid white door I had a feeling something wasn’t quite right. There was an unfamiliar smell. However, it was relatively early on Saturday and I was in my third European country this week so you have to make some allowances. I moved through the small anteroom with its hand basins and into the next room. It was odd that there were only two, both vacant, cubicles but it was a small place in an out of the way corner of the Dusseldorf airport so it is possible they just used the space wisely. I pushed open the door to the nearest cubicle and locked it behind me. Once inside I looked around and realised that even in a European toilet, a disposal unit for feminine hygiene items was not normal in a man’s lavatory. Oh boy! Now I was in trouble. I’m in a ladies toilet in a German Airport. But I was sure I had passed the door to the ladies right next to the door I had just come through. Regardless, my major concern was now ‘How was I going to get out of here’? Should I just ...

I was born and raised in a city and I have lived in cities all my life so coming to Connecticut has been a bit of a shock. One thing about being raised in a city is, excluding pigeons, drunks and other humans, there is very little wildlife. I did see a rabbit in Chicago once and a few rats and mice in the London Underground but pretty much that was it. So now we live in a much more rural environment. For instance our house has a grass bank which slopes gently down to a small road about 30 yards away. From our large kitchen window you can sit and watch the trees and the occasional car. It’s a pretty peaceful scene really. Then one Saturday morning in early April, while we sat eating breakfast by the window, we were intrigued to see a small critter poking a cute reddish brown head out of a hole. We watched him for a while and then he darted away and disappeared but next day he was back again. As he clearly lived nearby I decided he needed a name and after much discussion we deemed that ‘...

The other night I was playing my iPod on shuffle and a very disturbing song came on. It told the story of a small boy who befriends a dragon!! I was very concerned about this ‘Puff the Magic Dragon’ situation. My immediate reaction was, “Where are the parents?” If your child’s best friend is a dragon does that not ring a few alarm bells? “Mum, I’m just popping off to Hanalei to see my mate the magic dragon,” apparently didn’t cause a ripple of concern to Mrs. Paper. Hanalei is in Hawaii! How is little Jackie getting to Hawaii? Also, I know their lack of existence has meant little is known about dragons but I think we all realize dragons do not make great friends for little boys. Dragons breathe fire, have scales and a big swishy tail. One loss of control and little Jackie Paper ends up resembling the forgotten burger on a July 4th barbecue. I am surprised that Mr. and Mrs. Paper were not arrested on child endangerment – must’ve been the sixties. Another problem with the song is the rep...