I occasionally buy gadgets or musical things and there is some degree of comfort in researching which item to buy. These days that inevitably means some reading of user reviews. These appear on sites such as online musical supply companies, electronics companies or even Amazon or Buy.com. I have noticed that user reviews seem to fall in 5 categories and 95% or more are written by morons.Category one: The Honeymooners = ‘Just received it and it’s brilliant!’
This is a very common category. It is only mildly annoying because sometimes the reviewers can be cute; conveying the enthusiasm felt with a new toy. But in all honesty can you really write a review for something within the first hour? Not if it has any sort of complexity.
These people need to learn that nearly everything takes time; go back to your original review after a few months (post honeymoon period) and add some more info. It will be much more valuable.
Category two: The Flamers = ‘This $10 digital camera broke after three months …’
Sometimes criticism of a product or supplier is warranted. Unfortunately however, most of the time these flames merely illustrate that the reviewer is an idiot. Typically because they are trying to use the product for something it wasn’t designed to do or The Flamer has a very unrealistic expectation of a product.
These people (in 90% plus of cases) just make themselves look rude and stupid.
Category Three: The Frustrated Smuggies = ‘People who don’t actually own nor have ever used the product’.
This category bugs the living crap out of me and it is cropping up more and more. It is reviews by people who don’t like the hype around a certain product and so don’t own one. Yet they feel compelled to write about its various features and how everyone who has one is a fool.
Those people need therapy --- Now!
Category Four: The Show off = ‘Geeks/musicians showing off’.
This one really bugs me too. It is typified by the person who buys a gadget and boasts about how they managed to load Linux on it. Another example would be a musician name dropping or hinting about the number of gigs they have etc.
Get over it! Most people with day jobs ain’t got the time - oh and get a girlfriend (it’s a very (young) male dominated area).
Category Five: The Angels = ‘Good reviews’.
I saw one once. It was from someone who had owned the device for three months listed the pros and cons and what they meant in real terms to the average user. The reviewer had spelt its, it’s, there, they’re and their correctly all the way through too. Or maybe I just dreamed it ….
<Enter stunningly witty and clever tagline here>
Bazza
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