Not so long ago I was riding in a car with two female friends, one from Dallas and one from Chicago. One of them asked me where I felt more at home, Connecticut, Chicago or London? I couldn’t answer; in fact I couldn’t even define home. For my friends on that journey, home was obvious and I envy them. There can be few other words in this language that are so relative. Home has a different meaning for practically every human being on the planet.
For me the word home has always been strongly linked with location and I have always felt you can only have one home at a time. Therefore, home can refer to one of three locations depending on where I am. I reside in Connecticut, arrived there from Chicago but was raised, and lived longest, in and around London. Indeed a couple of years ago, on a flight to London from Chicago, the person in the seat next to me asked:
"Going home or leaving home?" To which I could only manage:
"Yes".
As stated above I currently live in Connecticut and it is taking some getting used to. This makes me miss Chicago and the life I had there a lot. Does that make Chicago home? I really miss some of the people I know in London. Does that make that home? I don’t’ miss Chicago’s flat landscape or the litter strewn, narrow streets of London though. When I am in Chicago for more than a week I find myself wanting to get back to a place that is ours and where my guitars and other pointless distractions are. Does that make Connecticut home?
Maybe it’s just that each time you really settle somewhere and then move, a little bit of your heart gets left behind (ask Tony Bennet!). Even if you choose to move, still something remains where you were. So when you do get to that next place there is not so much of a whole heart left to feel with. Maybe the meaning of home becomes a little diluted with every move.
In London I could walk to a pub but in Chicago I feel safe on public transport and Connecticut has hills and beautiful scenery. Nowhere can be perfect again because there was always something that was better somewhere else.
So home is a word I hear a lot but maybe for me, and anyone who moves and settles and then moves again, it may never be as real as it once was.
<Enter stunningly witty and clever tagline here>
Bazza
BTW the Cubs actually winning something really made me miss Chicago more than ever.
I recognize this very well. Being an Amsterdam transplant who ended up in Venlo and eventually Chicago, I have gone through the same motions. Having 2 boys in the UK gives you probably a closer connection to the motherland than I have - although I enjoy my annual trips to The Netherlands, Chicago is home to me.
ReplyDeleteHome is a natural feeling. Many can move, settle, and feel at home right at way. Others, it takes time and they may never truly feel at "Home". Either way, Home is the feeling you have when you sit down on your couch possibly watching TV, or out with some friends playing karaoke ;-), or washing your car while watching your kids play, and there is that one moment when there is a pause in time and you think to yourself “I’m home.”
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